Home Is Where The Arguments Live
by youronlyastory
Summary: Every once in a while, The Doctor and Rose have to return home. But with a familiar stranger and a game of scrabble the joys of the Tyler flat are long lost. Fun and humor as yet again Rose finds herself in the middle of a battle ground.


**Just a bit of fun that I hope is enjoyed and reviewed. There may be more chapters, dependent on how quickly ideas may spring to mind.**

**3 thanks to you all!**

**Youronlyastory**

The TARDIS groaned methodically as she waited for The Doctor to return, he'd left her wires all over the floor again and she just knew that he'd end up regretting it.

"Ahh, here we are, Ol'gurl. I foun-Woah!" He stumbled over a thick blue wire on the floor and landed to it in a gruff. "Now that wasn't nice, was it? Ye-ow!". Rubbing the back of his head, he grumbled and started to reset the co-ordinates.

Just then, he heard a familiar sound from outside the TARDIS.

"Oi! You can't stay in there forever you know!" That was a lie. "You've got to come out sometime!"

The Doctor cowered a little and walked further behind the console.

"You! You can storm about the Dalek's ship like you own the place. You can completely wind up the leader of the Cybermen but one mother and nooooo. You turn into one massive chicken".

Rose waited a second or two for a reply, and then continued bashing her fists on the wood. He was being clever and cheeky and therefore sarcastic which only made her more determined.

"Stop clucking and get out here will you!"

She heard him mutter something like "I'm afraid" in a delicate voice which only aggravated her further.

Taking a breath, she stepped back from the TARDIS and sighed. Her hand was becoming red raw and she could've sworn that she now had splinters in her fist. Tucking a crimped strand of wayward blonde hair from her view, she grinned.

"Okay, I'm leaving. I'll see you in about an hour…"

She waited for him to take the bait. A shuffling sound came from within.

"You don't want to come with? There are stars within 10 miles of the skies of Frompalia and the…." His already faint voice had become muffled from the inside of his sanctuary and it took him a while to realize that Rose might have actually wandered off. _Again_. Without him. _Again_.

Dammit. He didn't want to see the universe's most gorgeous sky alone. Damn, curse Rose with her clever antics. He'd put his foot down last visit. He was not going to endure that dreadful meal of Sheppard's pie and nail varnish again. He could have sworn he also found a nail in his portion, too.

He pretended to claw his face at the TARDIS console and was surprised to find that the rhythmic humming had turned more into manic laughter. She was on Rose's side.

She'd probably gone by now…She was probably already at the flat, handing over the backpack of washing. He could wait, surely. He didn't need to accompany her _everywhere_. He ran his hands through his thick locks, the key in his right hand and did the bravest thing he'd ever done.

Still, he couldn't help but drag his feet a little.

Rose, who jumped out of nowhere, grabbed the key out of his hand and in a swift movement, put it down her top. To the Doctor's horror he realised she hadn't just put it down her top...she'd put it in her _bra._ Ewwww! No retreating now.

Growling and muttering under his breath they both walked, or rather, Rose dragged him to the flat.

Jackie heard the lock in the door and jumped up immediately.

"..honestly, I don't know why we can't just visit her at the zo-oooh. Hello Jackie.."

Standing in her pink tracksuit and heavy make-up, she took one look at Rose and gasped.

"R-Rose, what are you doing here?!" They hugged as the Doctor barged his way through and sulkily walked into the living room.

"As if we didn't visit last week when you 'forgot your charger' and whose the idiot who believed you, eh Rose?!" He was talking to himself, or at least, thought he was as he chucked his brown coat on 'the sofa' and ended up nearly jumping out his skin.

"Ugfh!"

The Doctor jumped back and looked at the stranger and stared open mouthed.

"See, I err, have a friend round…." Jackie muttered as she carefully led Rose into the living room.

She and The Doctor shared a look of total confusion as Jackie looked sheepishly to the floor.

"And, you are, the gas man?" The Doctor said, in hope that his dressing gown was just some sort of sponsored pyjama day.

"Howard…" The man said, grinning weakly at a stunned Rose and rubbing his balding hair.

Beside him Rose suddenly guffawed and nodded, smiling a little as the memory grew in recognition. The Doctor glared at him.

"Well," Jackie said breaking the awful silence "This is good; we can all stay for dinner."

The Doctor looked around the room, awkwardly choosing the arm chair to sit on and watched Howard.

"So, 'Howard', come here often?" Rose threw a magazine at him as poor Howard shifted awkwardly. Rose had no choice but to sit on the floor or next to the visitor and she certainly wasn't going to sit next to a fruit selling man in a dressing gown!

Howard laughed and muttered something about fruit. The Doctor smiled, a little bit too happily.

"Why do you sell Satsuma's at Christmas?" the Doctor questioned randomly, leaning forward and watching the guys face.

"What?"

"I just mean to say, what's so good about a Satsuma?" The plan was that Rose would get so embarrassed she'd drag him out of that flat before anything really stupid happened.

"Urm, nothing?" Howard said slowly, wondering whether The Doctor was really some sort of psychopath.

Jackie then entered, handing out cups of tea and wishing that the floor would just swallow her up. _Which could be arranged._

"So, Howard, haven't seen you in a while…" Said Rose, sitting very close by the Doctor, ready to hit him if he opened that mouth of his.

He smiled and looked to the floor.

"So how much money have you raised for your sponsored pyjama day?"

Howard blushed crimson as The Doctor smiled at his own question and spat out his paper clip filled tea.

They talked awkwardly for a few moments until Howard excused himself and returned moments later fully dressed.

The Doctor and Howard were both in desperation to leave the flat, yet in a moment of sheer madness; Jackie opened her mouth.

_This happened a lot, unfortunately._

Suggesting to play a game of scrabble was practically the worst choice as The Doctor was coming up with ridiculous words while Jackie was doing the same.

"You can't put that!" He groaned pointing at the word . "That's not even a word!"

Jackie shouted back. "You put the word 'temporal flux' so what's wrong with my word?!"

"You can't put it, you're not allowed to put names! It's in the rules"

"And what are you, the Scrabble Police?! Besides it wasn't a name, it's a word!"

"As a matter of fact, yes! Since now! Take it off! You can't just make a name a word by adding a plural!"

Rose rolled her eyes. The only words she'd been able to come up with was 'dust', 'read' and 'too'. Still, she was doing better than her mum, who was still arguing that she didn't have to put down the word 'blue' next to her current word.

"It is a word! People say it all the time! Every woman has them!"

They were standing up now, the Doctor's glasses were hanging off his nose and Jackie's hair was falling into her face.

"Well, in that case, you've spelt 'tights' wrong!"

"It doesn't say tights! It says ti-"

"Mum!" Rose yelled; finally ending the on-going babble of shouting. "Look, Doctor, it's three words and a 's' giving her a point score of four, just let her 'ave it!"

"Let her have it? I'll let her have it all right!" and with that he picked up her tiles and through them out the window.

"Was that really necessary?!" Rose said, standing up now. She felt a little guilty for Howard who was totally isolated from the flat's chaos as the three of them continued to yell at each other.

"Yes it was, she already had the word 'H.I.V' which is NOT allowed, I'm not letting her use spelling mistakes now!"

Jackie glared at him. " So what?! It's one game, what are you bothered for you're still winning! We let you have the word 'flux'!"

"That's a word!"

"Look, you two are both being ridiculous, it's only scrabble for God's sake!" Rose said, gesturing her arms into the air.

"Shut –up Rose!" They both said in unison, continuing to point and yell at each other. The neighbours were going to rush down soon, thinking that someone had been killed. Well, they wouldn't be far off.

Suddenly, Howard jumped up, grabbed the board and through it along (with the three tiles) out of the window!

"There, why don't we play something else?!" he suggested.

There was total silence in the flat as Howard re-seated himself and sighed.

Jackie and The Doctor sat down too, muttering how another game would be 'best' and how 'Howard was right'.

Yet not even 10 minutes later and they broke into another fight.

"For the love of Bad Wolf!" Rose muttered

"You landed on my hotel! You owe me £1,500!"

"Who puts the price up just as I land on the square? You did that on purpose!"

The Doctor had to bite back his smile. "Hey! We have to put prices up to accustom government setbacks!"

"Government setbacks?!" Jackie squealed hysterically.

"Exactly! Glad you agree!"

"What's the point of playing any board game, when you cheat!"

"I cheat?!" He roared in shock.

"Glad you agree"

"I wasn't agreeing 'Miss-Blue-but-not-blue-tits'!"

"Are you trying to say that I have blue t-"

"Mother! Please!" Rose was heaving at the idea. However Howard, was glaring at the board, he'd forgotten his whole existence and just watched, waiting for something to happen.

Scrabble tiles were splayed across the floor now joined by Monopoly money and tiny little houses as Jackie threw it across the room.

"Now whose being childish?!"

Jackie growled at him and for some stupid reason, The Doctor growled back.

"Mum! Come on, just leave it and make some dinner and YOU, Doctor behave or sit on the naughty chair!"

"The naughty chair?" The Doctor scoffed.

Rose gave him a piercing look and the Doctor was actually scared. He was also feeling ravenous by now and would even chance it to eat Jackie's food rather than live with his stomach ache.

Jackie sighed and threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "Fine, I'll fix dinner."

In a warning, Rose decided that Howard (who was falling asleep) could have the arm chair while The Doctor and Rose would sit on the sofa. He'd been practically left under lock and key. Either that or he was Rose's prisoner.

"Dinner smells disgusting…" The Doctor whispered in Rose's ear.

"Stop it…" She warned, but even she couldn't help but giggle as the smell of burnt pasta stunned her nose.

"It smell's worse than Slitheen vomit."

"Doctor…" She warned as his voice grew slightly louder, still giggling.

"Worse than that, it smells like The Moxx of Balloon flatulence-"

"I can hear you!" Came a voice from the kitchen.

Dinner was no better than the beginning of the day.

"Mum this pasta's good!"

"Yeah, Jackie, it's great!"

The Doctor was the only one with any criticisms. "Why are there staples in my pasta?" He asked, picking one out with his finger and thumb.

Jackie rose an eyebrow at her plate of food and smothered her snigger. Howard seemed to be extra careful when eating and Rose groaned and forked her food.

When finally, all the washing of Rose's clothes had been done and dinner had been done, and the arguing over why Jackie felt the need to sneeze into The Doctor's dinner finished, Rose announced that it was there time to leave.

Jackie had never looked so relieved in her life. But she still hugged her daughter close while glaring at the Doctor. He glared back, holding a jar of marmalade as a form of retort and ran through the door.

"Rose, your phone…USE IT!" Jackie yelled, hugging her daughter and The Doctor once more before they left. With a smile, the team left the Tyler flat and returned to the box.

"Rose…" he begun.

She raised an eyebrow, daring him to continue. He took the challenge.

"Can I have the key-"

"Next time!" She warned pointing directly into his soul with her fire glazed eyes. "You are staying in the TARDIS!"

"I think you'll find that I….."

The pair continued to talk on through the TARDIS, laughing and arguing slightly in a less intense version of .Tyler vs. The Doctor. He could still feel bits of stationary scrap his throat but took it as a warning.

They argued and fought and wound each other up, they glared at one another and made faces and ridiculous criticisms but despite this, every night before going to bed. Mrs Tyler looked to the night sky to send her love to the pair in the box.

Families were always dysfunctional, they rowed and they laughed and they had temper tantrums, but The Doctor was still lucky enough to be part of one- he was lucky enough to have that second chance of being part of a family and even choosing it- and there wasn't a moment in the day when he remembered this and wasn't grateful for it.


End file.
